Sat. May 18th, 2024

So you want to watch some really bad found footage movie. In 3D? But in 2D? Do you want to see the worst acting you’ve’ already seen plenty of in other found footage with an even worse cast? Do you enjoy watching found footage movies that have no plot, bad writing, and no conclusion?

Do you enjoy not having any questions answered but to make it up having everything organically (think bland) sliced and diced together? Do you want to see a scene where the the producer/director and sound man have a falling out? The tension of the producer/director repossessing the sound man’s gear because it was bought with money paid to the sound man for services turned into the ultimate dick move? There’s actually a separate director so producer/lead man is what’s in the movie, but you guessed it, more falling out. Producer exercises straight up money man mentality and viscously (hehe) puts everyone in their place, like a pomeranian gang facing off against a single chihuahua.

Then you’re ready for Found Footage 3D. But in 2D. There’s woods. Well, kinda. The woods are really thin with wide expanses of flat ground. Kind of an anemic budget woods. And what about the cabin? Do you want to see a cabin in the woods? Well it’s been cleared out around the cabin with those exciting wide open spaces and big driveways that could probably hold a hundred cars.

But wait, there’s more. Do you want a cliched ending telegraphed in bad dialogue and worse acting over a mind numbing soul sucking 7 minute expanse?

Then Found Footage 3D is for you. But it’s in 2D.

Yeah, it’s on Amazon. Who knew…

Note: I think a good chunk of the budget went towards the movie poster and amateur cgi.

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By editor

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